Driftings and Drabbles
by Arbitrary Escape
Summary: A series of one-shots. Individual summaries will be listed in every chapter. Listed as T, to be safe - rating is subject to change. Most stories intended for K or T.
1. A Blessing in Disguise

Summary: Just a boy and a girl; two teenagers living their rather fun, introverted lives. And yes, they had friends (each other), dammit.

Tags: friendship, gen, slice of life

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Characters are properties of Watari Wataru & Ponkan8, and Maruhito Fumiaki & Kurehito Misaki**

* * *

" _Why are you crying?"_

" _I'm not."_

" _Yes you are."_

" _Shut up."_

" _And why are you all alone? Oh, wow, is that Robert Frost? Wait, is that Shounen Jump?"_

" _I like to read, okay? Anything wrong with that?"_

" _No, but if you're gonna be reading alone, I'll read on my own, with you."_

" _... That doesn't even make any sense."_

" _Who cares? Budge over."_

* * *

Haa, he sighed to himself, his body draped over his desk. A yawn broke out before he could stop it, and his eyes caught sight of the clock: half past ten, and it was a school night. He could feel the weariness settle in, and so begrudgingly dragged himself to the bathroom and brushed his teeth.

As he sat atop his bed, he glanced at the two textbooks at the side of his table. How he hated biology and chemistry, he thought to himself. He was okay with anatomy, as someone with someone of an interest in tennis, and certain chapters of chemistry (definitely not because of drugs, nope), but the majority of the subjects made him feel numb with boredom and distaste.

Overall, he could confidently say that, like most students, exams were things that he hated a lot; they consumed more time than he wanted them to. But more than just time, they committed the cardinal sin of consuming his effort and brain cells, instead charging him to fill those thoughts with knowledge that was not guaranteed to be useful.

But that was just the way the world worked. Or at least that's how it worked in Chiba, Japan.

He gave his desk one last, wanton look. How he desired to read his light novels; but if it got any later, he knew he would run the risk of not sleeping - a travesty in his books. He glanced out the window and closed the blinds and let the curtains fall.

Sorry, he apologized to his precious, I'll read you tomorrow.

* * *

"Hikigaya, what is this?" His math teacher had pulled him aside after class. It turned out that his professor demanded an interrogation as to why his results were so poor; he pointed to a rather low mark of forty-two. Said student winced as he saw the assessment. Yikes. It was much worse than his average of seventy.

Damn, he thought. He asked to see the exam, and he realized that he made the dumb mistake of forgetting two negative signs as well as applied the wrong formula later in a question because he misread the initial problem. The mistakes compounded harshly. Ironically, in one of the logic-based questions, he made an incorrect assumption and forgotten to check the givens for the proof.

Ugh, the hours of studying that went into this exam were beyond wasted, Hikigaya grumbled internally. But towards his teacher, he simply pointed out his reflections and earned himself a smile from his instructor. He was lucky, he supposed, that the maths teacher was not out for blood. In fact, this particular teacher was one of the best - he pressured people, but only enough so that they would focus, and he was blunt because he knew that was how his students liked it best.

At least his other subjects hadn't gone so poorly, he mused, as his teacher passed him his other exams. His eyes scanned the results. He probably was still within the top twenty-five of his graduating class, or top thirty at the worst, which was more than fine with him.

With a rather bored goodbye, he left the teacher's lounge, hellbent on spending the remainder of his lunchtime relaxing. And there were only two places he could do so.

The rooftop wasn't so lonely so much as it was free, he thought to himself. There was just the slightest breeze and the littlest hint of cigarettes. Kawasaki was here, probably sleeping at her usual spot. He moved to the side of the roof entrance and dug around in his pockets for change until he obtained his prize.

The taste of MAXX Coffee drizzled down his throat as he leaned against the firmness of the fencing. How he loved MAXX. The sweetness complemented the savoriness of his pork buns, and he closed his eyes in relaxation until he felt his phone buzz. Damn. Ten minutes left.

He flipped open his phone. Hmm? His lips curled themselves upwards. It never failed to amuse him, the amount of drama his best friend often found herself nestled in.

[Can you believe the audacity of these people? How _dare_ they even imply that I…] He chuckled. She really was too amusing for his heart. His eyes drifted lower, [And someone had the gall to say I stole my material from someone else. Don't people know that theft is the highest form of flattery and that it's currently the twenty-first century? Originality itself is almost gone, if not entirely so already! Why, I should...]

He thought about how to reply to her when the sound of the bell knocked some sense into him. Crap, he realized. Two minutes to get to class.

She would just have to wait for his response.

* * *

"...Hikki, are you listening to me?" He blinked; he most certainly was not. But he nodded and hoped her frown would disappear. Instead, he was rewarded with a rather cute pout - not that he would ever admit that - and sent a small smile to mollify her.

She sighed exasperatedly and threw her hands in the air.

"Hmph," his other clubmate muttered. "How poor can your manners be, Hikigaya-kun?" Her eyes didn't even come off the pages of her book; a practiced habit at this point. Not that he minded the routine, he supposed.

"Well, I was distracted," he mused. "I'm sure at least you can share that trait with me; getting lost in one's thoughts." Yukinoshita couldn't help a snicker.

"Hey!" Oh? It looked like Yuigahama was getting better at picking up on slights and jokes.

"Relax, Yuigahama." Her cheeks were puffed, and he diffused the situation by poking them. She swatted his hands away. "I'm sorry, but I really was lost in my thoughts."

"Why?" It was nice to have someone who recovered quickly in the room at times; at least they wouldn't be perpetual pests.

"Remember how sensei pulled me aside? Well, I made some mistakes on one of my exams; the rest of them went fine, though." Ah, a face of sympathy. "In maths, I misread a problem and then made some mistakes in another, so my marks were… well, less than satisfactory. But even with that drop, I should still be in the top half, unless something else went _really_ wrong."

The pink-haired girl's nose wrinkled, and the smallest hint of envy passed through her eyes. Not that she should envy him, he thought. Yuigahama wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but she wasn't necessarily a slouch. She managed to get accepted into Soubu and consistently scored just into the top half of the graduating class for most of her exams thus far. However, he knew she put in a lot of work, even if she didn't show it - and grades were important to her, especially because she wanted to go to university and study education or counseling.

Any score reductions were things she understood perfectly, reflected in her look of puppy-faced pity.

His far colder clubmate sipped her tea silently before speaking, "What kind of mistakes? It's rather odd of you, even for maths as one of your poorer subjects, to let your marks fall so harshly."

He grimaced. Yukinoshita, on the other hand, rarely let any subject fall outside of the top five in the entire class, though she would admit that for some subjects she cared much less for, having them fall out of the top five (but still within the top ten or fifteen) was acceptable. Her parents, while strict, were not unreasonable with what was actually practical for a student: meaning that as long as she succeeded where it mattered, there would be little to no consequences.

Still, she cared about him enough to inquire. And at least she was a good conversationalist when it came to academics. He paused, thinking about how to explain his situation. "I was reviewing too much for other subjects, I guess, and got too exhausted over the weekend. When I was taking it, I remember rushing through the maths exam; that was probably the biggest issue. The problem wasn't that I didn't understand the questions, though.

"I missed two negative signs in an arithmetic question, and in a logic puzzle, I made an incorrect assumption with the givens. Because of that, I messed up large portions of both questions. Of course, I wouldn't have scored a perfect or anything even if I got those two correct, but those were the most glaring problems and the main reason my score was so low."

Yukinoshita "Hmm'd" for a while before breaking off with Yuigahama in another mundane conversation to entertain the most energetic member of their little club. The cold girl was getting better at recognizing when no more needed to be said, he thought with a small smile.

He let the two get on with themselves and pulled out his phone. To his total lack of surprise, he had received a number of texts: his best friend and his sister, of course (who else would bother?).

From his little sister: [Hey, gomii-chan, I'm going out today, so don't worry; you don't have to rush home, you know? Also, say hi to nee-san for me.]

From his friend: [Hello? How're you doing today?], [When are you getting free today?], and [Listen here, you s.o.b., you better have a good excuse for not texting back… Well, whatever. The usual, though, right?]

He figured he could save himself the trouble of acting like he was emotionally invested when he didn't need to be, and typed, [ok] to both of them.

The rest of the club period seemed to drift abnormally slow; with no requests, all of them delved into studying at their little table.

Unfortunately, they were all at different places in their studying. Everytime Yukinoshita asked a question, it frustrated both him and Yuigahama. Not that she intended to do so; it was just that she was beyond them in a lot of cases. And everytime either Yuigahama or he asked a question, it seemed to be unanswerable by Yukinoshita more so because of her inability to explain, rather than her lack of knowledge.

The remainder of the hour passed quickly. With a yawn, Yuigahama broke the mundanity by announcing that they'd all better leave. Yukinoshita, as usual, nodded in agreement with her friend. Their goodbyes exchanged, he wandered off into the streets of Chiba, until he stumbled upon Saize.

* * *

"You're late."

He seated himself across from her, giving her an apologetic look. "Sorry."

She giggled. "It's not really a problem, you know," her voice softened and eased as she took in how tired his eyes looked. She reached across the table and tucked some locks behind his ears, her touch against his scalp a practiced routine.

He huffed, but didn't resist. His hair naturally draped itself downwards, a mess of morning sheets with no rest. "It's just, exams… and I'm going to have to crunch down even harder. Basically failed maths, and that was because I was being an idiot..." He sighed again at her stern look. "I know, I know; I'm stupid. But I really don't know what went wrong or what happened."

She poked his cheeks. "Silly. Don't kill yourself over these things; there's more to life than that. Besides, you're probably still in the top half of your entire class grade."

"Well, yeah. That's why I'm only stressed but not worried," he grinned cheekily, which prompted her to laugh again. "Anyway, what's been going on with you recently? You're more than upset; you're furious, but not devastated, though."

"Ah, yeah. So, you know about three months ago how I started working for this magazine?" He remembered her excited squeal as she choked his arm when they were hanging out and she received the email notification that confirmed her employment. She began to explain how it had been going smoothly within the office and how her senpai and colleagues had been taking good care of her, to which he joked that it was probably because of how adorable she was.

She stuck her tongue out and continued her storytelling, which drew him in. Megumi was rather animated when talking about her passions, journalism and photography, which contrasted the dull, wallflower-esque nature she wore demurely. "Someone claims I copied her; she's only been in the industry for two years, and I thought that, stylistically, she wrote well. I didn't think she'd care; none of my content was the same as hers, but…"

The anger in her face creased her flesh in ways that made her seem much more like a pouty, demanding child. Ironically, her text messaging speeches carried the flames of a stoked forge that would more than burn down the image she had built of herself. Or perhaps, he thought as he heard her mutter words that would make more than sailors flush, it was for the best.

He nodded as he reached for his glass of water. "Mm. I gotchu."

"Oh, and I got propositioned earlier this week." He choked on his water, daring not to spit it all over her. This bitch, he thought. The playful gleam in her eyes was ever present as her lips thinned into a smile that could have been construed as 'cute,' if one did not know her.

Hachiman waved his hand, as if to say, "Go on."

"Well," she dragged a finger to her chin and drummed away, "I was asked to join a doujin circle." His eyes widened. What? "Aaaand," her smirk darkened, taunting and cruel, "They think I should be their heroine. Or at least, what their heroine looks like."

His eyes widened; he couldn't help it. Then he started to laugh, slowly and loudly, which drew some unwanted attention from other customers. "Priceless," he said. The look on her face only spelt _I know_. Tch. So much deserved smugness that he couldn't even tell her off.

"I had to pretend like I didn't know anything; well, mostly because I thought I didn't really know much. But, it looks like those countless hours tagging along for your obsession with _Pretty Cure_ have finally paid off."

"Fuck you."

Megumi started to open her mouth, but closed it. There were so many ways she could respond to that; both of them knew it. The mischievous gleam never left her eyes, nor did the lightheartedness leave his.

Instead, she moved on. "So what else has been going on with you," she asked as she scooted from her side of their booth to his. He comfortably adjusted to his lack of space; her head against his shoulder, she began to hum quietly as her feet kicked gently, an image childishness and innocence.

"Hm… well, aside from the whole classes crap, I guess Yuigahama and Yukinoshita still confuse me on whether or not they're in an actual relationship yet. Sometimes, I debate going to club just so that I can give them space. I really don't need to be in the middle of their tension.

"But more than that… nothing much, I guess? I think I'm sort of friends with them now. Friendly, at the very least," he corrected himself, "because Yukinoshita and I can snip at each other without any real venom whatsoever. Like, none of the subtle cruelty that was directed at me before even comes out. And sometimes, lately, we even go out and do stuff. Like, actively hang out."

Her eyes widened as he opened up about his school life. She smiled knowingly. The _I'm happy for you_ didn't need to be worded. They spent the rest of their time at Saize mindlessly chatting until the conversation drew itself into a blank lull.

It was night before they decided they had to go; he had to make sure she got home before the dark became a strangled hold unsafe for her. They said their goodbyes to the owners who only smiled at the high school students. Her fingers slipped between his as they stepped outside, a comfort and warmth to both of them.

But none of that kept him from noticing that the walk to the station seemed to get longer each time.

* * *

When the door clicked behind him, his ears were assaulted with a playful "Hello!"

He sniffed the air. She was probably fixing up a snack. He took off his jacket and asked, "How was your day, Komachi? Where did you go?"

"Ah! I had to say hi to some friends I haven't seen in a few weeks. We were in the same class last year, but ever since we've moved up, we haven't seen each other much…" Her voice drifted until it slowly grew softed until it became inaudible. He physically felt the sadness wilt into her tone, a sucker punch to his gut. That wouldn't do, he frowned, and walked into the kitchen.

This must have been bothering her for quite some time; his sister was resilient, he knew, but she was still just a girl - a child - coming to terms with her realities and the mazes they posed.

"Don't be sad," he said quietly, an arm wrapped around Komachi. He knew that, deep down, she was as much a loner as he was, even if she was surrounded by friends. His little sister wasn't stupid, even if she wasn't nearly as smart as him.

She was smart where it counted, and unfortunately, that meant that she understood some key things about life. Namely, that nothing is permanent and people come and go. With some exceptions of course; his bond with Megumi, for example. Unlike him, however, she did not have a single friendship that seemed to be longstanding, nor did she have his apathy for watching people exit the stage.

No matter how small, as long as something was a little more than superficial, it was genuine to her - and she hated letting things go. Something, he mused, that she would have to learn to accept.

But right now, he had no idea what to tell her. He tried, though. "What Megumi and I have is different."

She glared at him, offended. He winced. It sounded empty, even to his ears.

He decided that the best route was the direct one. "I love her." His sister's eyes widened. "Not in the way you think, silly sister. Well, not entirely. She's attractive," he'd be an idiot if he said otherwise, "but, what I mean is… sometimes, things are just… well, they're - we're - not normal.

"She and I have known each other since the fourth grade. The fourth grade, Komachi. It's been so long. But it's not just the amount of time that both of us have invested; it's that we just click." Komachi understood. Still, it didn't do much to ease her heart. He imagined her voice cracking as the words _It's not fair_ painted themselves on her face.

"Megumi's been a part of my life in so many ways that I have no idea who I am without her, you know?" That confession made Komachi's mouth drop. He guessed that, despite calling her 'onee-san,' her lack of her own 'Megumi' prevented her from really understanding how much she meant to him.

"It would be like… well, if I never met her, I have no idea how much more rotten I would have been, but if she were to leave now, then the rot would grow exponentially worse." He shivered at the very thought. A cold sweat he hadn't noticed haunted his skin as he placed his free hand at the back of his neck.

"Even though I don't see her as often as I used to, we've still maintained the semblance of our days of yore because the fruits they bore made it possible. It's not the same though, Komachi," he tenderly explained.

"We aren't what we used to be. But that's just how things are. What we are now, though," his thoughts broke themselves. How could he explain it? "She's like a disease that's festered," his sister wrinkled her nose at that, but at least her crying had stopped, "but in a good way. She's like a superbug that made me stronger, and now we have symbiosis."

Slowly, Komachi nodded. "I… I think I get it. It's like what you and I have, but a little different, right?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

"Okay."

* * *

Life was good sometimes.

He thought back to how, when Megumi came to visit him at his school for the first time, she shocked the entire ensemble. Not because she was Hikigaya Hachiman's apparent 'friend,' his _best friend_ , he added indignantly; no, it was because she had the sheer audacity to walk up to Hiratsuka Shizuka and declare that the teacher was going to be hers. All with the gentlest expression she could muster, eyes closed and smile thick with warmth.

" _Hello," she said, a hand stretched out and waving to a woman a decade her senior. Said woman blinked and was about to respond, until the girl opened her mouth again. "You're just as pretty as he told me," Hiratsuka's face flushed as she eyed a whistling Hikigaya, but her body froze as a hand cupped her cheek and forced her gaze, and attention, back onto the girl in front of her._

" _I think you and I are going need to get along well; we'll be seeing a_ lot _more of each other." Megumi practically purred with deviousness, not unlike that of Yukinoshita Haruno. Her voice dropped, a sashay of vice and invitation, "Don't be afraid."_

His shit-eating-grin couldn't be held in and he laughed the entire time the Service Club held its meeting that day. Yuigahama had a hand over her mouth and Yukinoshita, the both of them, were lost for words. The younger sister sputtered incoherently and the elder choked with laughter as she clutched her sides. Iroha giggled as Hiratsuka-sensei burned a fervent red and dizzied.

Of course, when she introduced herself to everyone else, she was courteous and delicate, careful not to prod people the wrong way. Well, mostly.

 _She ran her eyes over everyone else, but her gaze stayed on two of them in particular: a girl who looked slightly younger than her, and one that was clearly several years older. She addressed the first of her interests, "So you're Iroha?"_

 _Another smirk littered her skin as her eyes danced with playfulness. No one mistook how she addressed the other girl by her given name. Eyebrows rose, and heads whipped towards Hachiman, who only shrugged as he stepped closer to stand beside the younger girl._

" _H-Hikki!" The pink panda pouted. "Why didn't you tell us?"_

" _There's nothing to tell," he said firmly, his hand tightly clutching the brunette's. "After all, I don't ask what you and Yukinoshita do; but if kissing and telling is going to be part of the club, I'm afraid things are going to get a bit awkward."_

 _Said girlfriend became brighter than the tomato that was Megumi's primary target, though Hachiman's clubmates were not far behind. He didn't glare, but the force of his statements held like Roman pillars. They'd never heard him so brisk and commanding._

 _The laughter of the last person in the room was complemented by her fanning herself. She seemed to be having the most fun of them all, Megumi believed._

 _She sauntered over to Megumi. "I might just have to take you away from Shizuka-chan," her voice breathy, "I'm a bit mad that Hikigaya-kun over there kept you to himself all this time."_

 _Not intimidated in the least, Megumi winked at the older girl and made sure her voice was as low as possible. "Well, he never kept me waiting, if you know what I mean… you guys are the ones who are late to the party."_

 _Yukinoshita paused; but not out of shock. She smiled at her and debated on how to respond. What felt like minutes passed before she strode past Megumi with her last thoughts: "We're the ones late, but we're here now. So where's the starting line, and when should I show up?"_

That had been so much fun, he thought to himself. Of course, Megumi told him about her exchange with the elder Yukinoshita - luckily, Iroha knew better than to intrude on their time together - and he couldn't help but fall off her bed when she had painted the picture. He hissed in pain as he chuckled.

It was so typical of her. Megumi Katou was a woman beyond words, he often said. Mostly to the girl herself.

There were some things that didn't need to be shared with others, but when Megumi made up her mind about anything, there was no stopping her. Not that he minded Haruno knowing. He just liked his past where it was: the pages of yesterday were not books for today or any day after.

He glanced at her from his peripheral as they walked down the open streets. Not that his history of Megumi was anything to put behind him or ignore, or for him not to care about; rather, he just wanted to look forward to the kind of future they had together. Regardless of what it was.

The two of them engaged in a contest of wills and physics, the swingset of the nearby park croaked with remembered weight - it bore the brunt of their entire childhood until he moved away during middle school. It continued to do so even now.

"Hey, Megumi?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."


	2. Judge Your Books - They Have Covers

Summary: No one's sure why their life is the way it is. But sometimes, it's better to just shut up and be happy. An experiment in first person.

Tags: friendship, gen, slice of life, drama, hints of romance

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Characters are properties of Watari Wataru & Ponkan8, and Maruhito Fumiaki & Kurehito Misaki**

* * *

"Sorry, Isshiki. I can't go on those practice dates with you." I sighed. This was going to be a bit tougher than I liked. Emotionally, at least. She unfortunately checked all the boxes of my siscon senses.

"What? Why, not senpai? You've done so before!" Her eyes watered with the crocodile tears I've become accustomed to. At least there wasn't a hint of anger or annoyance in them.

"I didn't think of them as much of an issue; they were fake. Like playing pretend; that's why you made sure to stress that they were 'practice,' remember?" She flinched, but it passed quickly enough for me to dismiss it; perhaps I could have worded that better. I rushed to make amends. "But thinking about it, it's not fair to you. It's… it's for your own good. Why would you need practice? You should be exploring your options and taking things seriously instead of playing around with someone, especially someone like me.

Quickly, I cast the finishing blow. "I care about you too much to do that to you." _My girlfriend will kill you when she finds out_ , I didn't say.

Silence passed through the hall as she flushed vibrantly and opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't form the words. Huh. What a surprise; I didn't think her mouth ever knew what it meant to be quiet. She always had something to say.

Thus, conclusion: tonal force can, on occasion, be exchanged for or interlinked with authority.

Well, I glanced at my watch. It was time to wrap this up; Isshiki had ambushed me after my club's hours, as I was preparing to leave, and it was getting late enough that the day's remaining hours were dwindling with fright.

I lowered myself a little to be on eye-level with her (I kept the appropriate distance, of course). "Sorry, Iroha." I had to stress how important this was; using her given name only seemed all the more appropriate, but as I judged from the redness of her face, perhaps I was being a bit too impolite. After all, I was lucky she even tolerated me calling her Isshiki with no honorific.

After a lack of responses, I sighed and walked off, my hands waving as I stalked down the hall. It was useless looking back, I guess, but at least I saved her the trouble of getting gutted. Maybe I would be thanked one day. Probably not, though.

* * *

I might have saved Isshiki from getting gutted, but a fist of steel met mine and I nearly doubled over. I hacked and closed my eyes in pain. I had gotten used to being hit enough - though, despite what anyone who saw my regular beatings thought, I was _not_ into anything like that, I swear! - by women with long, dark, silky hair and a temper to match the sun.

That didn't really help the hurt all that much. Even though I'd hoped to have acclimated against the adverse conditions, Darwinism, sadly, did not happen that fast. Why did explaining myself and my day always get me in trouble with this woman?

"Did you have fun, eh? Enjoy having a cute little girl flirt with you again? Tell me about it again. Flaunt all of that in front of me, why don't you" Her expression was murderous; calling it anything less would be like describing a warzone as mild. Her eyes pierced me as she looked down on my staggering form.

"She wasn't flirting; you and I both know there's no way she could be interested in me. These are just jokes. She has Hayama, remember?" I wheezed out as I regained breath. Violence was not the answer, but it sure as hell was hers.

"Hmph. Yeah, right." The sarcasm was strong in this one. What did she have to fear from Isshiki? Still, she refused to face me. She was probably pouting; she was always like this when sulky. Jeez. Why were the women in my life so troublesome?

"Aww, c'mon. Don't be like that." When she continued to refuse, I sighed and walked over to her and slipped my arms around her, my head nestled on top of hers as I pulled her into my chest and felt her body sag in relief and relaxation. Worked like a charm - every single time.

"You know that you've no reason to be jealous," I whispered into her ear. She shivered and I went on. "It's not like that with me and her. But even if it was like that for her… There's absolutely no competition between you and anyone else." I trailed butterfly kisses that tickled the edge of her ear, and she squealed.

Her resistance was crumbling. Now it was time to…

"Ahem. What do you think you're doing?" Oh. Oh God.

"Uh… Hi," I said lamely as I attempted to slowly turn around. The blistering heat of fury rinsed off the third person in the room. I winced and quickly used the girl in my grasp as a shield to block out the Amazoness before us. "Please don't kill me, we haven't had any kids yet." Said girl in my arms made another squeak and I felt her body burn, ripe with fever.

A dark, cruel laugh erupted from the devil before me. Satan, come get your Eve!

"Ho… Kids, huh… Kids together… You think you're going to get married? Married before me? How the hell could that happen…" Her voice trailed off and incoherency took over her words. Oh, good. She was off in her own world again.

My girlfriend sighed. Her fingers tugged on my arms and I let go. "Hello, nee-san."

That snapped my teacher out of her trance, but the sour look still bled into her emotions. The vibe I got was that my teacher would have liked to have been anywhere else but here. Unfortunately, this was her house. "You're supposed to warn me when you come over," she groaned.

Utaha shrugged carelessly. "Sorry." We all knew that wasn't going to be happening. Much.

Not that Hiratsuka-sensei minded. She waved her off. "Gah. As long as you guys don't bother me, you're free to bother yourselves. I'm going to need a drink tonight…" Utaha's eyes lit up, but her hopes were quickly dashed. "No, you can't join me tonight; you guys have school tomorrow."

My brows furrowed. "Wait, but that means you do, too."

"Yeah, but I'm used to hangovers." _Like we weren't?_ Or at least, that's what I hoped my intended incredulous expression spelled out to her. Not that I would challenge her, of course. "Just make sure you call me next time, Utaha. Or at least text. And give me a day, geez."

"But that's no fun!" Her eyes gleamed; she loved playing this game.

Not that Hiratsuka-sensei was having any of it. "Fuck's sake, you can tell Hikigaya over there to meet you at _my_ house, but you can't tell me, your own cousin?" Sensei's forehead seemed incredibly strained as she massaged her impending migraine. I opened my mouth as though to protest that I was not a frequent cause of them and then instantly closed it. She got us there. Both Utaha and I rubbed the back of our heads sheepishly. In hindsight, we should have been more respectful about it.

Once again, Hiratsuka-sensei waved us off and we bid adieu with haste and chased after a dream made reality: comfort and safety in the space of seclusion.

The spare room was our room. My haven, my escape, and my one true calm. True, it wasn't too much to anyone who had a decent salary and sense of decoration, but it was beautiful to me nonetheless.

A bookshelf wedged itself into the corner at the far side of the bed, and a desk at the foot of said bed. What was left of the sunlight trickled through some cracked blinds. The floor was dirtied with magazines and novels. Space was tight, but it was home.

Utaha plopped down to sit on bed, and I rolled over to where the shelf was. I never failed to look at it first. The highest level on the shelf was lined with her accomplishments. Ones that I was extremely proud of her for, and yet mutually envious of. I couldn't help but eye that row; after all, those books were crucial to whom I was now.

I smiled as I thought about how Utaha used to tease me about her books. _See something you like?_ Of course, my eyes never darted away from her publications as I answered yes. Even though my girlfriend was one of the most attention-demanding, distracting forces of nature I have ever encountered.

Reason: much of her writing involved our relationship - something that always made me feel incredibly smug. Fact: our relationship was weird, but it was us, and it made me appreciate every aspect of her even more. And that we published these books together made it special. She wrote, and I edited some of them.

One day, I told her before, we'd have this shelf filled with books only by us. But now, I had to hold her and let her whisper her heart into the air.

"You know, one day I'm afraid I'm going to lose you to my books instead of you to some girl," Utaha said softly. She was teasing, of course, but her voice always held the slightest tint of insecurity. And from her, that meant a mountain of doubts. I shook my head. What a silly girl.

I pulled her against my chest as we laid down and stroked her hair. This was just one of those weird things people often found out as they got to know their partners. Of us two loners, I was the one who was, by far, more anti-persons. Even if she had the mouth and attitude of the devil incarnate all the time sometimes. And yet, despite how long we had been together, she couldn't help but feel afraid to lose me, and the recent incident with Isshiki didn't help her any.

"Shh," I whispered. "You're so dumb sometimes. You think you're going to lose me? _You?_ "

She giggled. I took that as my cue. "If anyone saw us, they'd know instantly that it's me who's always worried - and with more than enough justification. I mean, have you seen yourself? And not just in a mirror."

"Silly," she whispered.

"I know," I smiled crookedly. "But this bundle of silliness is all yours."

We spent some hours in silence, lost in the exploration of our thoughts, touch, and emotions. We couldn't see each other too often; maybe twice a month. At most, we were lucky if we could see one another every week because of the distance.

Though, I supposed that 'Absence makes the heart fonder' resonated between us. I headed downstairs to cook. While I wasn't ashamed to admit I was rather lazy, I always felt the need to contribute or pay Hiratsuka-sensei back somehow after invading her home and privacy.

Not that dinner was much of an affair; Sensei pried about Utaha's life decisions, namely university choices or if she was going at all.

Hiratsuka-sensei was almost inconsolable as we drifted into the night; apparently, her lack of a relationship really did make her feel unwanted, and having Utaha being about a decade her junior and saddled with someone (even if that someone was just me) was killer.

I tried to make her feel less lonely by suggesting that we watch a film together - all of us on her couch - but she couldn't help glancing at us through her peripherals as the night continued to suffer its passing.

The tears that she shed weren't many, if even more than one or one at all. But I knew her eyes watered every time she caught us together. I felt sorry for Hiratsuka-sensei, but honestly, I was mostly surprised no one snatched her up by this point. The pity in me never broke into the open because I knew that there were no words that could scratch the mar of her failed relationships and constant struggle for acceptance.

Hopefully she'd find someone for herself soon, because the way things were going, and if I had any say - which I did - in this relationship, Utaha and I would be together for a long time.

* * *

"Remind me why I'm meeting your circle again?" Holy crap, I met Utaha's parents before, but meeting these people made me feel like I was being introduced to the real in-laws.

"Because none of them believe I have a boyfriend," I raised a brow at that, as Utaha was definitely more than enough for just a single man, "and I may have told our producer that you helped edit my books and he's a big fan." Ah. So that's how it was.

"The things I do for you…"

"Yeah, I know, I know."

We stopped in front of her school and made sure to check in; I wasn't a student, after all. And sadly, no matter how much Utaha said she was okay with my eyes, they made me rather suspicious-looking to almost every other individual (not even my family was safe from them, as stated by Komachi).

She grabbed my hand and rushed me along into their studio, and as we neared, I already felt the chill of silence shattering. My fingers pried open the door and three heads turned; equally, three sets of eyes widened.

So, in my awe-inspiring manner of speaking, I introduced myself with the utmost eloquence: "Yo." My signature, lazy hand-waving should have given me away as well. Only confusion and blinks. I sighed. Utaha giggled and peeped out from behind me.

Then, chaos ensued. The blonde girl in the room screamed as she pointed to Utaha and then back to me. Her head tried to follow her pointing, but she seemed to only become more frantically confused. Interesting. See, Utaha? There was no soul in the universe(s) that could have ever guessed that she would lower herself to be with someone like me, and this blonde was the prime proof of that.

The other girl simply smiled at me, her pale flesh rippling with laughter. Whoa. She was pretty. Her eyes, I noticed, despite still being at the door, were a mellowed honey, speckled with hints of grey or brown. Demure enough to draw attention, but not strong enough for people to feel obliged to stare into them. They were soft and warm with openness, but they held her adrift and afar. Ironically, it made her seem cold, even though nothing else about her screamed aloof.

All that said, I guessed (not really) the last one, the guy, was 'Mr. Ethical.' Huh. He reminds me a bit of me; a bit self-absorbed, given how, after his initial reaction, he turned towards his computer again. He didn't seem anything special, though I wasn't one to talk, but who knows - he might have just been a wallflower in his own way.

"Uh... " I scratched the back of my neck. "My name is Hikigaya Hachiman; I don't know how much you know about me - if anything at all - but I'm seventeen and I'm from Chiba. And," I glanced toward Utaha, "Utaha and I have been dating for a while. Nice to meet you all."

Said girlfriend giggled as she held my arm; she wasn't normally like that unless we were in private. But that only meant two things: the first was that she was this comfortable, at which I felt a breath of relief knowing that she had such close friends, and the second was that she still wanted to flaunt me. Or rather, our relationship.

She gave my hand a comforting squeeze, and we settled in and nestled between Mr. Ethical and Ms. Heroine. Everyone here had a fair amount of nervousness, even if none of us wanted to show it. Before any more awkwardness could nestle between our two parties, I asked "So uh… what are you guys doing today? Is there anything I can do to help?"

* * *

Soubu often hosted several speakers for its clubs, as they had the resources and name to do so. For instance, the kickboxing club begged for Nasukawa Tenshin; Chiba native, a former high school legend, and disgustingly successful professional despite barely being out of his teenage years.

And they got him. Albeit with quite a lot of effort and persuasion, but they got him.

Now, for the literature club, they wanted a young, upcoming writer to take the stage for the semester. Of course, like many of the other organizations, they came to us for ideas on how to make their goal come to fruition.

And I may have been more than simply motivated when I heard they wanted Kasumi Utako to be their star guest; they just had a hard time reaching her. Obviously, I (silently) scoffed in disbelief. Meguri had a small smile on her face as she let the vice-president of the club announce this; my eyes widened, and I blinked. Clever girl.

The rest of the literature club members were dismayed when Yukinoshita immediately shot them down, more from her lack of knowledge about said author than rudeness - we weren't trying to be biased with whom we helped, but she reasoned that even we had limits.

It was getting rather tense, and one boy frowned, upset that my club's leader had dismissed their thoughts; however, he understood she was being civil. He saw no maliciousness, but it hadn't made anything easier; apparently, Meguri had actually given her club a lot of time to think, though I have no doubt that the end result was a product of her swindling words.

Said girl let the time pass as discussions brewed pointlessly. until I couldn't bear her stare any longer. I coughed into my hand and mentioned that I personally knew Utako Kasumi. The quickest smile slipped onto Meguri's face, only to be replaced by her mouth forming a small 'o' shape. Eyes widened and Yuigahama screamed about the apocalypse and Yukinoshita raised a hand to her head. Ouch.

The literature club's members didn't react quite the same as they didn't know me too well, but… given how I looked, it was safe to say that they were, ah, as one of them called it, 'shook.'

Meguri started, then. "Why don't you all go on back to our club? We still have a bit of time left. But," she paused, "if you guys want, we can be finished for the day; you can all go home, if you'd like." Regardless, they all dispersed and mumbled faint thanks as they left. Meguri seated herself next to me and giggled, still caught up in her elation - rarely did plans work out.

After the peanut gallery left, my fellow service club members remained slow-moving and continued to stare at me. I kept waiting for Meguri to speak up - what was she playing at? I dared not make a move. Surprisingly, it was Yuigahama who spoke first. "You, Hikki, know someone outside of us?" And there was less surprise in her voice than tension. Weird.

She bit her lower lip nervously and I blew a wisp of stale air past my tired mouth. What was I to say to that? Oh, that's right. "Yeah." Of course I knew people other than you guys; being a loner didn't mean literally not knowing other people. It meant choosing to not involve myself with them. And what kind of person did they think I was?

She laughed, a hollow, strangled sound. But there was some bubbliness to it, I thought. As though she were confused how that would seem to work. Well then, Yuigahama, sorry I disappointed you. "But, Hikki, the name… Well, it's girly, you know. Kasumi Utako? That doesn't sound like a guy at all."

Ah. There it was. Silly girl; she couldn't have been any less subtle. Though clearly, she tried. If I didn't know Yuigahama, I might have been offended. Instead, I coughed. "That's because she isn't." And at that, both Yukinoshita and Yuigahama seemed to lose themselves; they forgot that Meguri was still there and seemed to start sputtering.

Yukinoshita almost dropped her book at the confirmation as she moved to set it down. She slowly adjusted the glasses I had gotten for her. She swallowed some tea before voicing her thoughts. "I am… surprised," she admitted, "that you know someone so…" she hesitated, and spoke the next word hesitantly, "renowned..?" Wow, way to instill confidence in my ability to even register the existence of the female gender.

Though, her words actually carried a fair point, I supposed. It _was_ rather odd. While Yukinoshita didn't know Utaha's handle very well, she couldn't deny that researching the name showed Kasumi Utako to be one of the most beloved new authors in the country. It must have amazed her that me, someone less in touch with society, and most aspects of culture, than her would know anything about this mysterious author.

Again, I got the vibe that I should have been insulted.

"But," she continued, "it makes sense that anyone you know would write. And read," she reasoned. Well, that _was_ how Utaha and I had met, after all. I nodded in response.

Silence drafted itself into the space around us, occupying it with a fervent haze. It seemed to me that, for once, I was the one most comfortable talking. And that in itself was uncomfortable.

"Yeah. I mean, she writes light novels. And I have all of them. Read them all, too." A smile broke out on my face as I thought about it. Even edited a few, but they didn't need to know that. I picked up, though. "Every single one of them was… it was hard to read them at times. Not all of them are good; the first few bunches of things she wrote were actually short stories and those were really good. But her early novels? Yeah, not something I would call good.

"Still, I thought about it. Why was I so annoyed that her writing was bad after she tried to make it better? I couldn't put a finger to it; I wrote to her on the forums and by responding to the business email left on some of the early prints she had. And I told her what I thought.

"Everything spiraled out of control after that - I couldn't help it. We just kept talking and talking. And… well, it never stopped." My voice was soft by the time I finished. Silence ticked by, and I caught unshed tears in Meguri's eyes from the edge of my peripherals.

And the comprehension began to dawn on them, though more so Yuigahama than Yukinoshita. Yuigahama had mentioned her favorite bands a number of times and how she used to work part-time to see them.

She gave me such a sweet smile, "I get it, Hikki." Her voice was so tender; so understanding.

My fingers absently scratched the back of my head as I coughed in sudden shyness and embarrassment. "Thanks… I guess?"

We spent the remainder of the afternoon setting up the time and date for the meet and what kind of event it would be; would it be a meet-and-greet? Would it be a read-aloud? Would it be a speech? All sorts of things, and yet, very few of them were ideas that she enjoyed. Utaha also had to consider whether or not she wanted to reveal her face to the public as well - she hadn't held any face-to-face meetings in so long, that almost could put a description to the figure known as Kasumi Utako.

"Uhh… just saying, she's probably not going to like most of those ideas?"

Yukinoshita gazed at me sharply. "And why not, Hikigaya-kun?"

I paused, and tried to say it as simply, er, politely, as possible. She hated dealing with people. Nah, that wouldn't work. So I went on to say what I did know.

Even if I knew her, and even if many fans knew of her, it was actually a rather small number of people who genuinely knew her face. Utaha started selling her books at a young age - around twelve or thirteen; not that I let them know her actual age - and it took about three years for her to be picked up by a company and to acquire an agent, but not many people remember those days where she was the one at festivals and events stacking her early works on the table all by herself.

Since then, she had zealously avoided fan-meets in person and hosted many online discussions and had moderated her own forums; she had a business email and a fan one, and most of the inquiries that were too narrow to be on said forums were directed there.

Fortunately, Meguri cut in at some point and explained it in a way that saved me the trouble of satisfying two rather curious girls. "She's actually a rather young author; she started writing a long time ago and worked hard to become whom she is. She doesn't want to be seen because she doesn't care about how she looks - she cares about how she writes; _that_ is her look."

"In short," Yukinoshita said, "she hates interacting with other people." Couldn't really argue with that one. "But unlike this germ over here," she gestured toward me, "her actions are wise; she is a loner, but unlike him, she has some sense in her."

I grimaced. I had plenty of sense in me! Just now… the common kind. Or one that held me together all the time. My frown was ignored, though the conversation seemed to be coming to a close. Words were fewer, and the mood just seemed so still. Our tea had gone cold.

To close the point, Meguri added, "As a young girl, she also doesn't want to be privy to too much unwarranted or undesired attention. Especially as a public figure." She had the other two girls by the nose at this point, and I shook my head. Too easy, girls.

By the end of our day, we still hadn't come up with a solid conclusion as to what the arrangement would be. Nonetheless, I said I would talk to her for them and that was that; I slipped a small grin at my two acquaintances, and they conceded that it was a matter quite literally in my hands alone at this point.

Meguri giggled as she waited for them to leave. When we finally had the space to ourselves, I let the chagrin into my voice. "So," I asked, "Is she in on this already?"

"Nope. I just thought that… this would be a good way to let them know that you're more than they think." I blushed, but still felt annoyed. Even if Meguri was like an older sister to me, it wasn't right to me that she would go behind my back like that.

I sighed. "List, Meguri… just because we're neighbors - and we've known each other our whole lives - doesn't mean you can poke your fingers into every pie or stick your nose everywhere." She pouted cutely, and I grimaced. Gah. Those eyes were too strong; and what the heck? That expression! She was older than me, but she pulled off the young, innocent face all too well. Her father was a strong man to have faced this in combat twofold on a daily basis.

"Please," I said. "I don't know if this is the right thing; heck, I don't even know how she'll feel when I call her." Meguri nodded. "Seriously. Now you've got us pinned, and I'm worried. I really don't need any drama in my life, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't need any in hers.

"Listen, Meguri, she's a professional; we're asking her as more than just Kasumigaoka Utaha, we're trying to see her here as Kasumi Utako."

But of course, she had a response for that one. "Why can't she just be both at the same time?"

Gah. Well, that was a good one. I bit my lip. This was probably what she was getting at the whole time.

"Come here, Hachi-chan," she said softly. She patted my head, despite me being more than ten centimeters taller.

"Thanks," I whispered gruffly.

We filtered into the streets of Chiba. She was humming a _Pretty Cure_ tune as I distantly thought about today's girl in question. It was funny to see people gaze at the two of us weirdos walking side-by-side. Meguri was like a firefly, dancing to her own beat and lighting up the world around her without really thinking about being anything different. I was just a droll, slouching miscreant.

But despite standing out, no one said anything to us, and the first words I'd heard in a while were when she bade me farewell. "Say hi to Utaha-chan for me," she called out as she disappeared into the house next to mine with one last wave.

I called Utaha as soon as I closed the door to my room. She didn't squeak or jump at joy for the chance to see me - no, the contemplative side of her professionalism bled into our talk, and I loved every moment of it. I admired how seriously she took this.

Eventually, she conceded, but only if she could avoid showing her face. I chuckled at how disappointed they would be, but I knew they would understand.

Of course, Isshiki found out about the event within days and her reaction was only shock. Firstly, that I knew someone outside of my small school circle; secondly because it was a female. Thirdly, because unlike most other times I had offered a hand, I had taken initiative from the very start.

I stepped back, confused about the pressure I was feeling. It was strange, but Isshiki seemed to corner me… in a hallway.

"Are the rumors true, senpai?" Her gaze was as unreadable as ever. Not many rumors about me that I didn't know about; I nodded. "Wooow." Her exaggerated voice had much less impact on me than it usually did; was I building an immunity? Thank the heavens if that was it.

"Yeah, they asked, so… I mean, we're the Service Club, you know?"

"Aaaah. That's true. But I've never seen you so glad to help another club before. Not even me, your cute little kouhai!"

"Yeah, but unlike a certain kouhai, they put in a formal request… you know, one that didn't pop out of nowhere. And they asked the whole club and not just me to do their labor."

"How rude! I don't like what you're implying, senpai."

I glanced down at my watch. My patience for her dramatics was dwindling.

"Was there anything you needed, or did you come out this way to bother me for nothing? We're actually getting kind of busy with this one, me in particular." And I really meant it; this was building into something I actually cared about and put a decent amount of effort into. That said, I wouldn't allow it to flop. Wasted time was wasted life!

"Wah… you're being mean, senpai! All I did was ask what was going on!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

She pouted and called it unfair of me to be so picky, considering she always had to drag me along. She also continued mumbling about stupid senpais, though I have no idea why - I wasn't stupid, nor was I clueless. But she definitely wasn't wrong about my biases and pickiness; it was just a given that for me to be more than just 'biased' toward the girl of my dreams.

What surprised me was Isshiki's sudden ardor for the event and the strangle twinkle in her eyes whenever it was brought up. Huh. If only she had that much energy whenever she wanted me to do anything for her. Or the mentality. Still, she was a big help and without her, things probably wouldn't have gone as smoothly or quickly as they had.

Weeks went by much more quickly than I had anticipated, but it wasn't unpleasant. As the event finally rolled around, I spent more and more time meeting up with my girlfriend to discuss the details. However, I hadn't expected her to insist on walking to the school with me, from my house.

"So," she mentioned, casually as she stretched her arm across the table for some more rice, "I guess I'm staying the night, huh? Would make getting to your school a lot easier."

Her smile, beautiful as ever, made my erratic heart throb with pain. Excited, terrified, happy pain.

My jaw dropped. Was she crazy?! Wasn't the point of going to this event anonymously to not attract attention? Also, what? For her to show up on the streets of Chiba with someone like me would definitely make any notice rather negative.

I turned to my dad and my sister, but they were no better than myself. In fact, the rolling of chopsticks on the ground and the whiteness of Komachi's skin indicated that my sister was about to scream - a rather rare event.

"W-w-what are you saying?! You, you…" A loss for words seemed to now be our family trait.

Komachi's protests were overridden by our father telling her to hush. Komachi sniffled and told our sire she hated him, complete with crocodile tears and sniffles. She hated sharing me with Utaha already; to have her here, in this house overnight? Unacceptable.

She bounded off to her room with a hmph and a noticeably louder thump to her steps; my father sighed. He made us promise that nothing would happen under his roof, at least not for the night. He also enforced his stance that Utaha had to call both her cousin and her parents.

"You got it, Hikigaya-san." It didn't dampen her mood any.

You might think that anticipation was killing me. You might think that, perhaps, my excitement bled over to every fibre of my being and vibrancy lifted me higher than the clouds atop Mount Fuji.

And you'd be half right.

I was scared. Scared to see what my club members and acquaintances would think. I know that my relationships with most people were on thin ice most of the time; I wasn't accepted, I was tolerated. I was understood, not necessarily received.

But the Service Club and its members were the closest thing I had to a genuine friendship among peers that blossomed from something forced into something we all kept out of our own will.

The hardest part about the 'Kasumi Utako Reading-Meet-Sort-of-Event' was actually sitting through the day until it happened. Luckily, dozing off in school was one of my one hundred and eight master skills, and I was adept enough to pretend like I was somewhat aware of my surroundings.

My right foot tapped furiously as I ate lunch alone; was school always this quiet? Kawasaki was napping at her usual spot and Totsuka had to help one of his siblings with something, so I was left to fend for myself. Just a few more hours, I told myself.

As the final bell rang, I shot Hiratsuka-sensei a knowing look. I told Yuigahama that I had something to do before the literature club event, but that I would be back in time.

My legs rushed out the gates of the school; biking home only to walk back was time consuming and disturbingly wasteful, but when Utaha wanted, Utaha got (most of the time). What Utaha wanted? Not sure anyone knew that one.

The house was empty, save for the girl sleeping on my bed. She hugged one of my childhood plushies, good ole Bulbasaur, tightly as she lay on her side.

"Hey." I shook her gently, just once, and lent my fingers toward the task of running them down the stream she called hair. "Hey, c'mon now. Utaha, it's time to wake up."

She yawned and stirred, her arms stretched as she pushed off the vestiges of sleep. "Okaaay," she mumbled tiredly.

"Hey, none of that now. We have to get to my school, remember?"

"We don't _have_ to…" God, was there anything more beautiful than that smile?

"Uhh… Kasumi Utako promised her dedicated fans that she would show up. And as far as I know, Kasumi Utako is a rather responsible author. One who keeps her fans happy."

"But her most dedicated, best fan is right here…" She hugged my waist and cuddled closer.

"Right, right." I poked her nose. "Let's go, sleepyhead."

She giggled as she slipped her fingers between mine and we carried ourselves out into the quiet, a pace that seemed so distantly slow, but a gait through which I felt the world drift around us with passion that escaped us. A passion that wasn't ours; because the world between us closed and it was just us in a space that seemed to move on its own.

Getting back to Soubu took longer than I thought; perhaps it was a result of my mind drifting, or perhaps it had always been this long. The peace of the empty school gave me no further rush, and I showed her the spots that my daily visage would ghost about.

I'm almost certain that her favorites were the library and the rooftop. The former, obviously, didn't surprise me except for the fact that Miura was working there today - and her eyes blinked with disbelief. Three times, because she needed some magic to confirm the sight she was seeing, I supposed. Also surprisingly, she simply shrugged her shoulders and made no scene about it - exactly what I wished people would do.

She did give me a sliest smile and wink though and slipped a small thumbs up to Utaha though. Huh. Weird girl, but I took the support heartedly.

Finally, we made it to the literature club's room. By this point, we had maintained a reasonable distance between us; her face had gone from aloofly cute and giggly to one of business. The space between our bodies wasn't from fear or distaste, but she was concentrating. What was she going to say? How was she going to say it? How was she really going to act; did she want to be open - would this really be formal?

None of us had come up with a final plan for how the event could have gone, and I suggested to everyone that we should just let Kasumi Utako decide how it was going to go. Eventually, Utaha decided on a talk, but under the condition that there would be no pictures or recordings - any sighting of a phone would result in her instantly leaving the premises. No compromises.

Kasumi Utako was the first side of Kasumigaoka Utaha that I had seen, and it was the first one that I knew I loved.

I knocked on the door to let them know I was coming in, and I slid it open. Utaha walked through and everyone gasped; I followed through, and some of them gave me the weirdest looks. Maybe they thought it was a hoax or a joke that I actually got them whom they wanted to see. Disbelief wasn't something unusual to me, and they definitely got a pass on this one.

All eyes turned back to the girl in front of them. Some of them looked like they had swallowed a frog, and others looked hopeful. Some were just happy. But I could surmise the other factor of their surprise: aside from Meguri, none of them had known she wasn't a woman, but a girl. One their own age.

Yuigahama, Yukinoshita, and… wait, what was Isshiki doing here? Oh well. All of them looked toward Utaha, then me, then back to her. I'm not sure if I understood what was going on, because all three of them seemed to look at each other after that, but they didn't do anything else.

I slipped next to them at the back, as Utaha stood at the front of the classroom. I wondered how they would take it; I doubted any of them were prepared.

She took a deep breath, gave me one last glance, and began. "Hi. I'm sure all of you here know of my name. Or maybe my work. But if you don't, that's okay. I'm Kasumi Utako, and my main form of writing nowadays is lightnovels.

"I started writing short stories and a bit of poetry, and that's how I got noticed to begin with; but those were never the end goal of my career. In fact, I didn't even know it was going to be mine. I just picked up a pen and kept going, the tip brushing against the pages as I spilled my thoughts into the world. I didn't care that it was something that took a lot of time out of my day, and I didn't care that people made fun of me for it in school.

"But I do know I kept getting more and more excited as my parents encouraged me to do something I loved. And, for all of you aspiring writers out there, you have to also keep your feet in the real world; as much as you dive into the worlds you make, you have to understand that this is the one we live in. There are things you need to do. The first of which is to get an agent; the second of which is to support yourself.

"I received so much criticism from everyone, even my own fans and community. Well, more like especially my fans - they were the only ones who even knew my name. And some of them," she stopped and glanced at me, smiled, and kept talking, though there was an edged to her voice that wasn't there before, "were more vocal than others. Much, much more vocal.

"I don't know what drove me to continue, but I just did. You guys might think that if someone tells you your story is trash or that it has nothing of value that you should throw it away. And you're right. You should. Because holding onto yesterday, as a writer, is only good if you can learn from it. Keeping things lying around lets you drift into the dangerous 'what ifs.' That's not to say that discarding everything is a good idea; just don't let your writing become obsessive without you doing anything about it."

Isshiki made to speak to me, but I held a finger to my lips and never once took my eyes off Utaha. This wasn't the time for small-talk, and there was no room for rudeness.

"Writing is as hard as you think; it's not like most other professions out there. You don't just move and paint art into the sky or dance your limbs and muscles into a flurry of motions. You're not a constant, either. Think of your life as just a series of commissions. Honestly, it reminds me a lot of computer science. Just a lot less lucrative." A whole round of laughs filled the room, nervous, upset, and slow. The gleam in her eyes grew.

"You have to understand the difference between when it is just a hobby for you, when it is a job for you, and when it's something you're torn about. Because those three phases are the ones that I think are the only phases. It just takes a while to recognize that.

"And I knew it was my job more than my hobby, not because I had talent and definitely not because of my work ethic… but because of my luck. That's just the way the cookie crumbles; it's not about skill - God knows how many street musicians have their peaks and their troughs, but can genuinely produce. It's not about lack of trying; of the billions on Earth, everyone struggles to get through life in a way that matters to themselves. But you have to understand, that some people make it, and some people don't; it's in your hands to decide when you're just 'done,' with something.

"For me, that time hasn't come yet." Her smile chilled the room and even Yukinoshita shivered.

The talk continued on as she explained the trials and tribulations of getting even to just the level that she was at. Her message was clear though: she was just the frog in the well; her writing might have been beautiful to us, but it was nothing because it knew not the ocean nor sea. It was just this ugly little thing that didn't know its place in the world.

Eventually, they all left, until the room dusted itself in the absence of humans whose jaded views were crushed by a cruel, cruel girl who had nothing but their best interests. As writers, of course.

"Wh… Why were you so cruel?" Yuigahama's voice was soft but well-heard in the emptiness of the room. It was only us Service Club members, Meguri, and Isshiki, who remained. Not even Zaimoukuza had the heart to remain; he'd left sometime in the middle, but by the look of his face, I think he understood the message. Ebina, however, I was surprised about. She seemed genuinely shaken.

Utaha laughed in response. It was hollow to the ears who did not understand. "Cruel? I don't see it that way. There are two positives to this: one, I can weed out my competition and two, I can make those who have the drive, the passion and yearning, flourish. You might just think that we're all just high schoolers, but the reality of the situation is that we're already in high school - what are you going to do when you graduate? What will you do for the rest of your life; how will you pay your bills and how will you satisfy yourself? What drives you?

"Those small things aren't small at all, and I'd rather them never become writers than to wander around aimlessly and have them gripe about their constant struggles and failures." Yukinoshita swallowed, but nodded her head in agreement. Isshiki seemed to have lost her taste for words.

"Hikki… I guess I can see why you guys are friends," Yuigahama mumbled.

"Me too," I said. My smile was thin, but not shaking, and I never lost it as I walked beside Utaha. Her fingers laced mine and everyone else choked. "She's my very best friend, actually."

"Oh… oh..? Is there something you'd like to tell us, Hikigaya-kun?" I'd never heard the little princess in such disarray except in the presence of her mother.

I cast one small glance at Meguri, still somewhat annoyed by the situation, but let out a sigh. "Honestly? Not really. But you guys will bug me about it later, so it's better to get it over with, though I know you guys probably guessed already."

My free hand gestured to the girl beside me. "This is Kasumigaoka Utaha; she named herself Kasumi Utako. I named her my girlfriend." Said girlfriend let out some rather pleased giggles as I said that. In contrast, everyone else seemed to take several moments to process this.

Yukinoshita's cold voice cut clear, "Was this your goal all along, Shiromeguri-senpai?" Considering Meguri was decent friends with her older sister, Yukinoshita pieced together the mastermind rather quickly. "After all, you don't seem surprised one bit."

"That's because Meguri's my neighbour," I interjected. Even though it _was_ all Meguri's fault, I allowed it to get this far. Besides, I wouldn't let Yukinoshita go after someone who was practically my older sister. "I've known her since we were in diapers. There's no way she wouldn't know." No other missed my use of her first name; I hadn't used it before, despite having to interact with Meguri as a member of the Service Club.

Another crack in the armor; but hey, what's one more pill to swallow?

"Is… is this why you got upset at me earlier, senpai?" Isshiki's voice was low. I shrugged. It didn't seem to be the answer she was looking for.

"Can't really go on dates with people if I already have someone to date," I added slowly.

"Oh. Uh… that… that makes a lot of sense." I guess she wasn't used to being so timid as she plopped herself into a chair. She glanced around, but the atmosphere was only lightened by Utaha playing with my hair as she hugged me from behind.

As for the last person? I guess everything just got to her, because Yuigahama didn't say a word as she walked out. A sense of overwhelming pity, rare that it was, dwelled in my gut. While I knew that Isshiki's infatuation with me was more of curiosity about the unknown, it was genuinely nothing but superficiality and confusion. Yuigahama, on the other hand… well, I should have told her.

But no one ever said that I was a nice person.

Yukinoshita seemed to take this a lot better than I thought. While I held no illusions about our relationship, having one of the people you were closest to keep something like this from you would definitely affect it harshly. At least, that was my own expectation and assumption.

I wouldn't apologize though.

"I hope you understand."


End file.
